Sorry

Sorry for being me, I’m sorry that I’m not normal or the person you wanted me to be. I’m sorry that I’m not popular, not smart, not popular, being weird, being me. I’m sorry that everything is wrong about me. I’m sorry that I can ruin any chances of friendships by doing one stupid thing. I’m sorry that I cry. I’m sorry that I dress like an emo but act like a crazy. I’m sorry for wanting to stay in my room and not confront the painful world. Sometime I wish I could just leave and never come back, I can’t face the world, and all they do is point out all the wrongs in me. I tried so hard to fit in but after all of this I just ruined it in a second. I’m sorry that I say the weirdest things, I’m sorry that I know nothing about relationships, I’m sorry that I space out a lot, I’m sorry that fall to easily. I’m sorry for being me. I’m sorry that I can’t say “no”, I’m sorry that I’m ugly and pretty or cute like every other girl. I’m sorry that I can say the stupidest thing in the world. I’m sorry that I sometimes cry at night since I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry that I’m a failure at life, I’m sorry.

The Future

Since the school year is coming to an end it's time to start picking out our classes for next year.Today in English class our counselors came to give their little shpeal about completing our graduation credits since we are entering 11th grade and about SAT testing, etc.  Then suddenly it clicked in my head, my school years are almost over and I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. I have absolutely no talent, I have tried many sports, activities, arts, and I have nothing to show for. The thought of the my life after high school and just the future scares me, I am honestly terrified of my life in the future. If I don't find my talent soon and become passionate about it I might end up on the streets. I've been living my life in complete ignorance and bliss, I never really thought of the future. Last year I thought my future was death since I wanted to kill myself but now that I'm over that I have nothing. What happens next? I have no clue, to me the pressure of society making these requirements and setting such high standards for adults in today's society is really getting me stressed out.  So you go to school for 14 years, then maybe go to college, get a job somewhere, then what? What happens next is this the future for every human being on earth. Is this really all there is to life? That is exactly why the future seems so scary to me, I don't want to live this routine life of the typical person. I want something more, but I guess I wont know what path to take until I have found out my talent, my calling. Hopefully I can end up doing something with this life, something unique, different from most.