Bye, Bye

"A long long time ago
I can still remember how
That music used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And maybe they'd be happy for a while"

- Don McLean, "American Pie"

I still remember, one of the last memories I had of him, my dad. We were in the car and he put his favorite mix tape in. This song started to play, it was his favorite. The last memory of him smiling away with his little girl, me. Then a few years after he died, my mom got remarried, I thought that if I kept smiling it would be alright if I hid my feelings. The music of my life always held a soft sad tune to it, but I never showed it out often, I kept it to myself. The music died down today, yet again. He yelled and screamed at my mother while I hid in the laundry room, he packed up and left. I'm not sure for how long or if he will come back at all. My mother trying to be strong and so am I. Is it wrong for me to lose faith in any good for my life? After almost 17 years no good has come. It's really hard to stay positive when nothing goes right.

What Is To Come

It's the shock. the realization, the pulse, or whatever you care to call it. But it is the sudden realization of something, it could be something that could be of some great importance. it could be the simple realization of a mistake of something, it could be the snap of reality. You know no matter how hard I try it never got me anywhere, when you have the passion even the motivation for it. But no matter how hard a little bird may try to escape from the cage, if it is big enough and there are other birds who have just chosen to live not acknowledging the fact that they are trapped even with the large amount of space. I wish to spread my wings and fly, fly out of this large cage. Though big, I want to fly up, for there is no limit to what can be achieved. However when the other birds see this what will they do? they will try to keep that little bird down. to say it is impossible, to take reality into consideration. But what happens to that little bird. it just wants to dream, it refuses to accept this as its fate. To succumb to this society, but the little bird is slowly becoming one to this, to sink into this fate. With no options left, it doesn't want to make others mad, or sad, or to yell.  So reluctantly it chooses to become apart of this society. And the dream of the little bird disappears.