Black Rose

Black Rose
To most it looks grim to me it looks beautiful

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Soul of Me



Even with all of my major problems lifted off my chest I can’t help but still feel pressured and just tense. It’s like a have this feeling in my gut that something horrible is going to happen. I really don’t want that right now, I’ve finally had things going my way. But I get these moments of just fading in and out of reality or this world. Not my presence but more like my soul is being pulled away from this body of mine. It’s a weird feeling, I’ve been having this ever since I had a seizure last week, I had a near death experience. It was weird I couldn’t  remember who I was or where I was, I was out for a while but my entire soul went somewhere else I just saw pictures of life passing me in an endless darkness. I was there in a torn dress but with wings like an angle on my back. One was black and one was white, I could feel everything…..As weird as it was I wasn’t scared. Then I appeared in a dead forest in front of me was the reaper. He didn’t speak or come towards me; he just looked at me and then looked up. Then I heard my teacher’s voice and I was brought back and I suddenly remembered everything again about my life. But since then it’s like I keep being sucked away at moments. My entire body feels heavy, I stop breathing, like my soul is being pulled in and out of my body, when it comes back I end up in a hot sweat. And every time I end up feeling like I’m going to collapse. Now that is scary for me, shaken up but still going. I honestly don’t know what’s happening to me or what is going to happen to me. Death itself doesn’t scare me, it’s the fact of leaving everything I love.